Saturday, January 23, 2010
I'm constantly confused with everything. There are times where I don't want to do certain things but I think to myself "should I even bother doing it?" I'm not referring to things such as whether or not I should do math homework or shit of that nature, I know the obvious fruits of that, but more so music. I have moments where I really don't feel like writing, or recording, or even thinking about music period. So should I just say fuck it? I'm always told never do something if you're heart's not it in.
But in theory, if one's heart is in it would they ever NOT have a desire to do the particular craft? This is where I am confused, people. Should Saz give up? But when I even flirt with the idea, I say "hell no" or "I need this music shit". So why would I be in modes where I don't want to fuck with the pen or pad? Should I just push through that shit to keep my skills sharp?
hAhA, A lot of questions, eh? But anyway, with all that said, I try to look at the diamond in terms of how I live my life. The diamond is one of the most beautiful gems on earth. The rocks in your earring, bracelet, necklace, etc, must be refined before they are top notch. They have to be sliced, diced, cut, roughly polished and everything before they are at they're best. Perhaps the same can be said for people.
Maybe niggas have to put themselves through them hard times to get better at what they do. Music is hard at times, I'm often sick of this shit, often thinking I'm not good enough to get on and all. Think about it, some niggas get on, but not ON like I plan to. Despite those thoughts, writers block, spouts of no-ambition, and so on and so forth. I'll keep it at it. Pray for me.